The other woman

I most certainly agree Jamie. But don't blame someone else's heart if you haven't been there yourself. Not proud of it and it will never happen again. Lesson learned. And yes, he stayed with his wife. Another lesson learned.

I could not agree with you more! As a woman who has been cheated on, I blame both parties involved equally. The man for cheating on his wife and the other woman who knowingly agreed to the infidelity.

Well said.

Women who sleep with cheating men are pathetic. They want to think they are "special", but they aren't. They are just an available hole for the cheater to use. I'd be embarassed to be that pathetic.

Thankyou, I have been waiting for someone in the media to say something like this.

Elizabeth Edwards has shown remarkable strength, grace and courage, something sadly lacking in "other women".

I agree 100% with everything you have said.

May 12 2009

Jamie,

How about a married woman for that matter. Any one who sleeps with anyone has a vow to another is equally at fault. Respect for relationships, especially commited relationships is important for ' all of us' to keep in mind.

Amen! Affair partners contribute to tearing down that which they did not help build. The person who breaks their vows is 100% responsible for his or her own actions, and so is the affair partner. The affair partner takes an active role in the infidelity, it's not a solo mission!

Excellent point!

It also shocks me when people seem to think that if the wife is mad at the mistress then she must not be mad at her husband – sounds like she was angry at both. As any human being can attest, you can absolutely be upset with two people at the same time. Her husband, however, is at home working to repair the marriage – the mistress has skirted off to another country, feigning innocence (until recently), and lobbing insults at this innocent woman from a distance.

His mistress was a grown-woman. She understood the gravity of her choices (to have an affair with not only a married man, but a very public figure). Now, she has to live with the consequences. Her reputation isn't being dragged through the mud – she had an affair (and a child) with a married man whose wife was dying (the fact that neither of them could give that poor woman peace in her last days is disgusting); nothing false is being presented to the public, just the reality. If she has dehumanized Elizabeth Edwards to the point that her pain is intolerable, perhaps she needs to do some very serious soul searching about why that is. It's just chickens coming home to roost. If she was ashamed of her behavior, then perhaps she shouldn't have acted that way.

And no, I do not then think that the reverse is true – Mrs. Edwards did not choose the love triangle she found herself in, unlike the other two participants.

No one "wins" in a situation like this.John Edwards is a selfish,dishonest man who showed such disrespect to his wife.Shame on him–it is called self control.we all wish Elizabeth well & best wishes.One more powerful word :Forgiveness.

There are opportunistic sociopaths out there. Whether they're lonely, desperate cowards who seek out relationships with anyone, even married people – - or whether they are people who are so lacking in human conscience as to be able to take a vow, and make children – and then betray that vow, and their children, their families, by cheating.

The innocent victim must certainly know, that there are bad folks out there who will try to take advantage of any situation they can. Even a trusted spouse. But you don't know who you can or can not trust until after a person betrays you.

Can we blame anyone?

Spot on, Jami. It is exactly the mindset of the OW that because she's "in luuuuv" she should have license to step all over what another woman has spent a lifetime building and nurturing. And I do believe we should "blame someone else's heart" even if we haven't been there ourselves. Perhaps if there were more stigma attached to women who sleep with married men, women would start exhibiting a bit more restraint and class before stepping into someone else's marriage.

Totally agree. OW have choices too. Following your heart is not reason enough to jump into the sack with a person who you know is a liar. Act with integrity. He deserves blame. But OW is no innocent.

I agree with Jamie. I would not date someone who was married or had a significant other. I would also not date someone who was dating someone else at the same time. It might have been cathartic for Mrs. Edwards to write the book. I do not believe that she should have had it published though. Is Mrs. Edwards being as candid as she claims? I am having a difficult time believing that she is as disinterested, as she is portraying, that her husband might be the father of the other woman's child. Mrs. Edwards says that she does not know if John is the baby's father. Does she want the public to truly believe that she has never asked John, or that she or he have not requested that the baby's DNA be tested? The Edwards' both owe it to their children, as well as that baby, to establish whether or not John is the father...

Well, I also agree that she is not free from blame. I too was a wife who was cheated on but personally, my primary blame went to the man who was married and made the decision that his wife and children did not deserve his loyalty. I was never in any mood to be pleasant with the other woman but personally, he was the one who should have been loyal to me and he was primary. If you aren't happy in your marriage, get a divorce. Simple as that. I didn't feel that Elizabeth blamed him at all – the other woman was to blame and that is not a healthy way to look at it. He knows how to say no – or he should. Makes me wonder if he did that before and no one was the wiser. She needs to stay on target – forgive him if you wish but stay on target.

I hope by writing this important book, it will help Elizabeth Edwards get heal quicker. It is such an important book, that people should thank her for writing it. By doing it she can help million of people whom she wanted to help and serve all her life in every way possible.

Elizabeth Edwards is a true public person. Writing such a book shows the deep commitment she has for people. May she live long.

I just have to write and say I totally agree with you Jami. I could not believe some women's reaction to Elizabeth Edward's book tour. If this is in someway helpful to the pain and humiliation she must have felt, then I say "you go girl"
I would think battling cancer is more than some of us could bear, then add the betrayal from a husband or significant other. She deserves respect and definitely our prayers for her health and her family not criticism.

Elizabeth Edwards supported her husband in his campaigns not only for him, but also she was seeking opportunities to serve the people. So even though she knew he failed when he ran for president in 2006, she could not resist the opportunity to serve the people should he be elected.

Thank you Jami, You are spot on with this comment, I couldn't agree more.
YOU ROCK!

I agree 100%. Nothing hurts as much as knowing your spouse has been unfaithful. If cheaters are cheated on they too might experience the pain. Home wreckers should be held accountable. Lets bring back suits for "alienation of affection," and hit them where it really hurts-in their pockets or pocketbooks, whichever the case may be. If one is not happy in his or her marriage, address the problem, resolve it, or get out before an innocent heart is broken.

The real victims in this awful mess are the Edward's children. Regardless of who's at fault for the affair, why is their mother going on a national media blitz discussing the whole sordid affair with the public? It's bad enough that their father is a cheat who cared more about his own selfish needs than the welfare and stability of his family, but she's just as bad – blabbing about it on every television show that will have her.

i totally agree with you as well.
this young woman knew he was married but it didn't stop her. everyone saw the flirtations on the video clip carried on all the news shows, it was
pretty obvious that they were involved at that point and i also agree that if there was a strong enough bond within that marriage, he would of never strayed. (there are very few of those special bonds out there ladies...)
it doesn't excuse or ignore the betrayal. i can understand why elizabeth stays in the marriage. had she not been dealing with cancer, she would of probably dropped him like a hot potato and rebuilt her own life...make no mistake, she is a very strong and courageous woman and i totally admire that strength.

Unless there is some recent and accurate study out then you should not say most men cheat on their wives.

I agree with Mrs Edwards 100%! I was married for 28 years before I found out my husband cheated on me with a so called friend of ours. Yes my husband did wrong and I can't get over it. But that so called scank new I loved my husband. She messed with my world my life. More power to Mrs Edwards, yes tell everyone what she did. When I was growing up a real woman did'nt lay with every Tom, Dick, & Harry!

There are 2 kinds of spouses. 1 is the creep and 2nd is the one who is neglected and starved at home, gets somewhere else what they should be getting at home. Just ask a good spouse who strayed. Edwards sounds like a creep, so is the almighty Bill Clinton.

I agree with your take on Elizabeth Edwards as legally there is not a cause of action for blame of "the other woman" in sleeping with John Edwards .
Slander nor Libel would work as the facts are indeed true..not to mention newsworthy.

I agree that both parties are to blame. But let's not forget, it was the man here who took vows and made the promises to love, honor and cherish and be monogamous, not the woman. In addition, to do this to a woman who stood by his side through his campaign while fighting cancer! Makes him all the more despicable!

This truly is a tragic story for all involved. That being said, a vehicle driving 60 mph into an intersection is just wrong. This police officer covers this area of travel in his daily work. Maybe he doesn't travel it everyday, but he surely is somewhat framiliar with the road and knows that there is an intersection there. The officers own headlights would have given some illumination to that sign. Even if he did not have a stop sign, it is an intersection, you cannot enter an intersection at 60 mph. The officer was chasing a speeder, no lights or sirens to warn other traffic that he was in persuit. No matter who he was chasing, his speed and lack of normal procedure in a high speed chase was wrong. What if a child had walked out into the street?? He should be found guilty but I do not think he should spend 20 yrs. in prison, that would serve no purpose.

Well said Jamie! I recently saw a blog about Jon and Kate plus eight. This woman blogger wrote to Kate that she should go easy on him, remember he just a man and they think differently!!!!!!???? What does that mean??? I wanted to scream at that blogger, clearly she has not committed herself in love to a man and has little self respect. Come on ladies, it's not always the right thing to do to, "Stand by your Man".

i dont think anyone could have said it better !

Unfortunately, Officer Robert Higbee is guilty of reckless endangerment/manslaughter.
This is verified in that the "speeder" claims to have stopped at the stop sign and, if memory serves, the officer in the interview tape also says he saw the speeding car stop (or saw the speeders brake lights at that point of the intersection at what would become the scene of the accident. Hence, the officer must deduce that there was a reason for that breaking of the allegedly speeding car at said intersection.
Add to this a car coming the other way (headlights of third car) which would stop at the stop sign on the other side of the intersection. These headlights coming toward him from the other side of the intersection should also have alerted the officer to a, now potential danger at said intersection and he should have braked his patrol car not accelerated.
That the headlights coming toward the officer might have turned to the left and the officer would hit that car is not withstanding as it shows negligence on the part of the officer.
The officer is, unfortunately, guilty of recklessness. An officer of the law is to serve and protect, not to endanger citizens. Officers have more credence in court because we expect them to have higher standards than the public. Officer Higbee might be a great person and good officer, but he was reckless in this instance.

"We women should think more of ourselves than to allow a married man to have his way with us and then go back to his wife..." Oh please, surely we must be more liberated than that. Have his way with us? Seriously? First you demonize the "other woman" as possibly MORE despicable than the cheating husband, then you paint her as a victim, pining away for her beloved while he plays the part of the family man. I'm certainly not condoning the behavior of either party involved, but let's be realistic. Women today do not always wish to forever be with every man with whom they sleep, and vows that others take are their OWN responsibility, not yours, not mine. How that reflects on the current state of our society is another discussion entirely, but let's not try and pretend it isn't so.

If the "other woman" would say "NO," there would not be a cheating husband.

I believe the person in control, who can prevent an affair, is the other woman. As such, I agree with Jami on this point:

–"You disrespect women everywhere when you sleep with another woman’s husband. You disrespect the institution of marriage. And if you don’t care about that, you should at least know that you disrespect yourself. " –

In this particular case, "the other woman" knew of the wife's illness - I think her behavior was despicable – to say the least.